I'm Baaaaacckk!

Ok, so it's been awhile since my last post....11 months to be exact. Here's a brief synapse of the past 11 months: got pregnant....again, stayed pregnant for 9 1/2 months, had 9 lb 10 oz baby girl named Meg, been on maternity leave for 1 month, trying my best to learn how to juggle a new baby with a 2-yr-old along with all my other responsibilities. Many of those responsibilities are falling to the wayside, like cooking, cleaning, running errands, etc. I dwell in chaos right now and I don't really care. Survival is my goal each day.....we have to eat, take baths, sleep (whenever possible), and have somewhat clean clothes.

Early this morning, I was reminded of a bible verse I memorized when I was in college. Psalm 143:8 (New International Version) Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way that I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Back in college days, I had a quiet time most mornings. I would sit out on the balcony of my apartment, read my bible and pray. That verse was one of my favorites. It evoked a feeling of fresh hope.....a chance to forget yesterday and start anew. It also brought about a feeling of direction and purpose, which is vital during those uncertain college years.

These days, that verse is still one of my favorites. But it has a different meaning to me at this point in my life. Early this morning, it came to mind again. And since I'm sufferring from a mild case of sleep-deprivation, I came up with my own spin on the verse. Instead of the New International Version, I call it the New Mommy Version: Let the morning (or the middle of the night, or the brief moments of silence when they're both taking a nap) bring me word of your unfailing love (because Heaven knows I need a love that's unfailing, considering my inconsistency in spending time with You these days) for I have put my trust in You (the only part of my life that's steadfast, sure, constant, and not chaotic). Show me the way that I should go (I don't have a clue what I'm doing here....is she hungry, sleepy, wet/dirty, mad, hurt,......why will he not mind me, listen to me, be quiet for 5 minutes, lay down and take a nap) for to You I lift up my soul (I mean really, who else is going to listen to my ranting and raving when I'm struggling to function on 2 1/2 hours of sleep, take care of the kids, clean the house, pay the bills, get supper on the table, and still find time to take a shower more than once a week?!!!) I love you God!