Aha! moments

It was the bottom of the second inning at an Ole Miss baseball game (go Rebs!) when I had this Aha! moment, a revelation that completely distracted me for the rest of the game. As a recently preggo girl, with a post-baby body and all of the self-image problems associated with it, I have been consumed with losing weight and toning/strengthening muscles which have not been used in awhile. Problem is: if I have a couple of weak moments during a day, I usually just give up on that particular day and chow down on all the sweets and snacks I crave. After all, there's always tomorrow. "I'll just start fresh tomorrow" I always say.

Well, this particular day had been just like that. Two mugs of coffee (w/ lots of creamer) and 2 cookies for breakfast, fried chicken strips and fries for lunch, don't remember what I had for supper, but when we got to the baseball game......first thought was of M&M's and Dr. Pepper. I wanted so desperately to give in. It had already been a terrible day for my diet, no exercise done, etc. That old faithful mentality came to mind: "I'll just start fresh tomorrow". It was then that my Aha! moment hit me: We're not promised tomorrow! If I'm going to make a difference in my life, make a positive impact on my children's lives, it has to be today.

I was so excited to experience this revelation, this motivational tidbit. This was it! This would be the strength I needed to get me through temptations and the kick in the pants I needed to get me off the couch.

Of course, my excitement was short-lived when my second revelation hit me a few moments later: If I'm not promised tomorrow, then I'm not going out of this world hungry! Pass me some chocolate!!! Herein lies the dilemma that "consumed" me for the rest of the game.

Oh, and did I mention that we were sitting directly behind a former Miss Mississippi who struck up a conversation with the four of us. How's this for motivation: craving M&M's and Dr. Pepper while your husband is talking to a friendly, beautiful, funny, blonde, former Miss Mississippi who loves sports. Just in case you're wondering......I skipped the M&M's and Dr. Pepper.

I'm Baaaaacckk!

Ok, so it's been awhile since my last post....11 months to be exact. Here's a brief synapse of the past 11 months: got pregnant....again, stayed pregnant for 9 1/2 months, had 9 lb 10 oz baby girl named Meg, been on maternity leave for 1 month, trying my best to learn how to juggle a new baby with a 2-yr-old along with all my other responsibilities. Many of those responsibilities are falling to the wayside, like cooking, cleaning, running errands, etc. I dwell in chaos right now and I don't really care. Survival is my goal each day.....we have to eat, take baths, sleep (whenever possible), and have somewhat clean clothes.

Early this morning, I was reminded of a bible verse I memorized when I was in college. Psalm 143:8 (New International Version) Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way that I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Back in college days, I had a quiet time most mornings. I would sit out on the balcony of my apartment, read my bible and pray. That verse was one of my favorites. It evoked a feeling of fresh hope.....a chance to forget yesterday and start anew. It also brought about a feeling of direction and purpose, which is vital during those uncertain college years.

These days, that verse is still one of my favorites. But it has a different meaning to me at this point in my life. Early this morning, it came to mind again. And since I'm sufferring from a mild case of sleep-deprivation, I came up with my own spin on the verse. Instead of the New International Version, I call it the New Mommy Version: Let the morning (or the middle of the night, or the brief moments of silence when they're both taking a nap) bring me word of your unfailing love (because Heaven knows I need a love that's unfailing, considering my inconsistency in spending time with You these days) for I have put my trust in You (the only part of my life that's steadfast, sure, constant, and not chaotic). Show me the way that I should go (I don't have a clue what I'm doing here....is she hungry, sleepy, wet/dirty, mad, hurt,......why will he not mind me, listen to me, be quiet for 5 minutes, lay down and take a nap) for to You I lift up my soul (I mean really, who else is going to listen to my ranting and raving when I'm struggling to function on 2 1/2 hours of sleep, take care of the kids, clean the house, pay the bills, get supper on the table, and still find time to take a shower more than once a week?!!!) I love you God!